3 Books to Change the Way You See the World
A Book to Better Understand Men:
I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real
Read this book if:
- You’re a man who wants to understand more about people like you
- You’re a woman and wand to better understand the men in your life
- You find yourself acting in certain ways which you don’t like, but don’t know the deep-rooted cause of these actions
- You’re willing to accept that men’s emotions are just as fragile as women’s and you need to talk about them more often
- You’ve ever seen “Good Will Hunting” before, and you either love or you don’t quite understand the scene where Robin Williams says “It’s not your fault” repeatedly
What’s it about:
The title really says it all with this example; this is psychotherapist’s deep dive into the silent suffering that leads to depression in so many men, and the long-term effects of this covert type of depression. To me, the most impressive fact about this book is that, given the current cultural state, this book was written in 1997. In my lifetime, I’ve seen first-hand the progress we’ve made in regard to mental health and how long it’s taken for male culture to adopt the positive practices, meanwhile this book was been around the whole time. The whole spectrum of downfalls caused by macho-man culture and the covering up of emotions are broken down in this book, it’s thesis surrounding the author himself and his attempts to understand and mend his relationship with his father through his own patient’s stories.
This book is all about cause and effect. Through the lenses of his patients, the amalgamation of stories in each chapter focus on the cause of trauma, such as shame or physical abuse and how that has led to the current state of the patient. This book is reason alone to begin addressing the hidden trauma that may reside in those you love and yourself.
Bonus points for:
Once again, it will blow your mind that this book was written in 1997.
Notable quotes:
“A drowning person will grip you.”
“Girls, and later women, tend to internalize pain. They blame themselves and draw distress into themselves. Boys, and later men, tend to externalize pain; they are more likely to feel victimized by others and to discharge distress through action.”
“As a society, we have more respect for the walking wounded — those who deny their difficulties — than we have for those who ‘let’ their conditions ‘get to them’. Traditionally, we have not liked men to be very emotional or very vulnerable”.
A Book to Better Understand Yourself:
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
Read this book if:
- You’re a young twenty-something who doesn’t know what the fuck to do with your life and want the most blunt and original way possible to see the light
- You have trouble figuring out what has weight in your life and what doesn’t
- You struggle with social anxiety
- You have trouble seeing failures as learning opportunities
What’s it about:
Mark Manson is one of the best writers I’ve come across in terms of presenting ideas clearly and in unconventional ways. In the blunt and honest truth that is The Subtle Art, Manson covers everything from why you aren’t happy, to understanding the ins and outs of suffering, and how to find values and metrics to help you make effective decisions regarding what has meaning in your life. It’s all about figuring out what you really care about and how to live honestly with that in mind.
The practice of defining values (what you care about) and metrics (how you measure your values) was pivotal to me when I read this book, as I was just starting my career and dealing with the new burdens of adult life. In essence, the subtle art told throughout the book is there to make you feel more comfortable in your own skin and take the steps needed to reach that milestone.
This this was the first milestone to self-awareness in my young adult life, and it also led me to read several other cited books to dive deeper into the concepts discussed.
Bonus points for:
A whole chapter dedicated to ideas surrounding fear and death. Yeah, I just said death. There’s so much truth in accepting that death is a part of life, yet it’s something that in our culture most people think you’re crazy to talk about.
Notable quotes:
“The desire for a more positive experience is in itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is in itself a positive experience.”
“Pleasure is not the cause of happiness; rather, it is the effect. If you get the other stuff right (the other values and metrics), then pleasure will naturally occur as a by-product.”
“I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because that’s what keeps you from striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgements and accepting of the differences in others.”
A Book to Better Understand Humanity:
Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harrari
Read this book if:
- You have trouble forming your own opinions about political issues and don’t really understand where all of it came from
- You have times where life just doesn’t make sense and you want to understand where all of this came from
- You’re so obsessed with social media that you tend to forget that humans are just another species on earth
- You don’t know where you stand when your friends are getting vocal about the environment
What it’s about:
The premise is pretty straight forward here; it’s a complete education in everything human from the beginning to now. From the first humans to modern life, Harrari covers the origins of our species that surround two major revolutions: the agricultural revolution, and the cognitive revolution. These two events have shaped modern life as we know it and have allowed our species to develop the world to what it is now. From the origins of farming and storytelling that have propelled our species forward to philosophy, religion, and even capitalism, I’ve often described this book to people as having a little bit of everything in it.
You may even begin to question your existence with a book like this, with so many things flying at you in one go. I began to question a lot of things and their place in my life after reading because it was the first time I ever truly saw myself as a “human”, and that’s no easy leap to take. The best learning piece provided by the book is its challenge to look at yourself in the mirror and see a human looking back at you.
Bonus points for:
The fact that there’s a sequel to this book called “Homo Deus”, which is dedicated to unpacking what could next for humans and ethical dilemmas that come with new technology.
Notable quotes:
“Biology enables, culture forbids.”
“There are no gods, no nations, no money and no human rights, except in our collective imagination”.
“How do you cause people to believe in an imagined order such as Christianity, democracy or capitalism? First, you never admit that the order is imagined.”
“Culture tends to argue that it forbids only that which is unnatural. But from a biological perspective, nothing is unnatural. Whatever is possible is by definition also natural. A truly unnatural behaviour, one that goes against the laws of nature, simply cannot exist, so it would need no prohibition.”
