When Will Everything Go Back to Normal?
“He who controls the present controls the past, he who controls the past controls the future.”
— George Orwell, 1984
It never will, plain and simple. In the history of homo sapiens on this planet, when an event like a global pandemic happens, change is accelerated exponentially. While I haven’t lived through an event like this in my lifetime, history tells us that after the industrial revolution, after the world wars, and after recessions, things changed rapidly, and some of it was obviously for the better! In order to make sense of everything and be accepting of the change that is to come, it all starts with the way we view the changing norms and stark realities of our world. Remember, while we have no control over outside events, we do have control of our minds and how we view the world in any given moment. You can thank the great stoic Marcus Aurelius for that one.
With that being said, it’s time to take a deeper look at how we use words like reality or normal, and particularly, the power we hand over to these words because of the way we use them. In much of the western world, we throw these terms around without thinking or even knowing what they mean. Forming what is normal and what is reality are some of the very fundamental questions of our existence, and form much of what we believe to be true in the world. When we plead for things to go back to normal, there’s a few things we need to consider first.
I find the exact same pattern of thinking occurs when I get asked if I’m ever “coming back to the real world” after I decided to move abroad last year, and I’ll explain why. While this comparison may seem far-fetched, using this blanket statement makes the assumption that the only reality that exists is what lies inside the worldview of the person asking the question. And if you look at it that way, it’s a bit of a singular and shallow view of the “real world.” While I forget how lucky I am sometimes to have had the privilege of living and working abroad, using terms that imply that I’m not currently living in this real world is a far bigger blind spot to the privilege we have in the western world.
We’ve made these terms into social constructs and use them every day without even thinking about what we actually mean to us or others. The problem is, the more we use words like this without thinking about them, the farther away we move from our true definitions of the terms.
When we apply terms like only to our own patterns of existence, we don’t realize that we all have different definitions of these words. When you say, “I can’t wait for things to get back to normal,” the only normal that you’re thinking of is your own. If, like me, you’ve been guilty of using phrases like this, consider the following questions:
- What is your definition of normal?
- What is your definition of real or reality? And what makes something more or less real?
- How could your definitions of these terms be different than a loved one’s definitions of them?
- Now go and ask someone you care about the questions to compare and contrast!
- And finally, based on your similar or different definitions what is the most just, true, and inclusive definition of normal and reality?
These may be some of the hardest questions you ever ask yourself, but the answers to them are extremely important. Many of us can even go through life either not attempting to answer them or actively avoiding the answers to them. They’re important questions for a reason, and you may hate this next sentence because of them. Now is the best time to start answering them. It’s actually during times that challenge our definitions of these terms where we should be asking and answering these types of big questions more often. Right now, due to our busier, more routine way of life changing, these questions usually begin to present themselves more often. But don’t forget, everything we resist, persists.
More than anything else though, the fundamental problem with using terms like these is the word back. All this does is shed light on our reluctance to constantly be evolving and moving forward instead of seeing many opportunities as burdens. Coming back to the real world or going back to normal disregards that any growth can occur in the between phases, and even further, it disregards that you’re a constantly evolving human being.
I’ll give you one more example to drive this home, and this might be a better one, since its spun in a more positive web but makes the exact same assumptions. I’ve been told before that I’ll always “go back to my roots” when I’m having trouble finding inspiration, and I view this statement in the same category. Once again, the recurring backwards theme is present, and the phrase disregards the evolving self in an assumption that what is true to you several years ago will always be true to you. While many may agree with this, I’m still not willing to accept the backwards nature of these statements. I’m a completely different person than I was five years ago, and I’ll more-than-likely be saying the exact same thing in another five years. While going back to your roots may seem encouraging and safe, it’s really just another illusion that we’ve constructed (with good intention) to help us focus on the past instead of dealing with our present reality.
The Way Forward
For me to wish things were normal or we could be living in the real world again would be taking time away from actually living my life and doing so with intention.
There are, however, two very important universal ways to help us adapt to any new changes that may occur throughout our lives, and they’re none other than living presently and exercising gratitude (see below for instructions on how to use these). Instead of wishing for a life we can’t live today, why not find more ways to enjoy the life you can live today? As humans, we need to accept the ever-changing world for what it is, or lack thereof in fact.
The bottom line is this: we’re not highest versions of ourselves right now, we’re actually the lowest versions of ourselves that we’re willing to accept. We hold the highest version of ourselves in the future but get far too stressed about not accepting who we are today. As long as we recognize these things and make changes to move the needle every day, that’s how we’ll reach our highest self. Think of it like a train that starts by inching forwards and eventually picking up momentum.
Nothing is stuck, everything in the universe is in constant motion, and the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can accept and embrace rapid change in our lives and adapt. We’re constantly evolving, and the world will keep on turning whether we accept that or not. We are always moving towards something whether we know exactly what it is or not, and the sooner we adopt this mindset, the sooner we’ll stop wanting to go back in time.
Ways to take control of the present every day:
Try a guided meditation practice: I always recommend the Waking Up app, developed by Sam Harris. It covers everything you want in terms of theory and practice, and even includes Q&A sessions conversations about meditation with some of the foremost meditation experts from around the world.
5-Senses Scans: Stare out at whatever you’re looking at and make your gaze wide while assessing what you see. Now pay attention to all of the sounds around you. Next take a breath in through your nose; what do you smell? How did you feel taking the breath in? Are there any places around where your body where you’re feeling especially constricted or loose? Make mental notes of all of these things and then see how you feel, and most importantly, check in on your changes in mental state after doing the scan.
Take a Deep Breath Through Your Nose: No seriously, you have no idea how grounding just monitoring your breathing can be. Take a minute in a moment of transition throughout the day to take a deep breath in through your nose or catch yourself breathing through your mouth and consciously make the change to your nose. Although nose breathing is way better for us than mouth breathing, the premise is to ground you and allow you to take in everything you’re experiencing, even if only for a moment.
Just Watch Something Natural: literally just look at something that is natural and changing constantly as a reminder of the turning of the earth and the world you live in. Watching bodies of water, sunsets, rainfall, snow, or even just staring up at the clouds serve as a reminder of this. If you do this a few times and it can take away from all the thoughts circling in your head for even just a moment, you’ve moved the train forwards. The important part is forming the neurological pathways in your brain that prompt you to stop for a second and breathe, then remember that you can have moments in the day like that whenever you want. The more they help you, the more moments you’ll find.
Ways to exercise gratitude every day:
Start a Gratitude Journal: all you need to do is write down three things every day that you’re thankful for, and they can be absolutely anything. For example, a couple months ago, it was a scorching hot week and our power was off for almost three days, so you can bet that I thanked the universe for ceiling fans and air conditioning a few times that week. Just make sure that you keep this separate from other journals, and this will make your statements far more powerful.
Critically analyze this statement: “Life hasn’t dealt me a bad set of hands,” and begin to peel back the privileges you have every day.
Express Gratitude Socially: Tell people you love that you love them, then tell people you care about that you care about them! This one’s the most important of all, and it’s that easy.
